October 11. Tuesday Night.

Hi Journey.

On Tuesdays Joni almost always cops a bad attitude when she arrives. It ticks me off good, but I really don't know what I can do about it. Attitude can only be affected…not controlled. The rest of the staff has learned to give her a wide berth on Tuesday, especially before she's swilled down her first cappuccino.

She wasn't too bad today. Just hermitted herself inside her office and ground through paperwork.

Scored a bit of a mini-victory over myself, today. Wanted to lash out at Brady over the computer. Seems like it's not enough that I ended up with another crash on my computer this morning (and yes, Journey, I saved everything on the server, thank you v.much!) but the damn thing nosedives when I'm six slides into a fifteen slide PowerPoint presentation I was pitching to a brand new prospect, Jamie Ripley.

Fortunately I'd printed out all the slides beforehand, so she could take a set home with her to study. Still, presentation looks a lot crisper on our big 20 inch flat panel. Plus just last week Dana showed me some new wipes which I built into this presentation. Nothing beats a little motion to pull a prospect's wandering eye back to the screen.

Mrs. Ripley will probably buy. She's another referral from Lori Jeffers. Need to ask Joni to express that lady a bouquet of roses.

Real problem is how I was so ready to pick up the phone right in the middle of the presentation and lash-dial Brady. One glance at Mrs. Ripley's face told me my expression was much more one of anger than mere frustration when the PC went down. For just the briefest of moments I felt her pull back. She physically sat up straighter in her chair, pulling her elbows up and off the table as we sat there in Tethered Helium. But she didn't cross her arms across her chest; rather she rested her hands in her lap.

It was a move I'd seen Mom make a dozen times when I was a teen and on a rant about how stupid she was for not letting me go to the mall or out to a party. Lordy, but that used to tick me off and yet believe it or not Journey for some reason today I felt myself calm down.

And this, right in the middle of the build-up as she was getting jazzed about how great the duvet in her new master bedroom was going to look.

You can't do that again, Crystal . You just can't. We work too hard to gain these clients than to just have you toss them away in a burst of anger.